Sweet Tea and Sass Read online

  © 2020 Tegan Maher

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, in any form, by any means electronic or mechanical, including but not limited to photocopying, recording, or any information storage or retrieval system currently in use or yet to be devised.

  This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual people, places, or institutions is entirely coincidental.

  This ebook is licensed for your personal use and may not be re-sold or given away to others. Unless you’re participating in Kindle’s loaning program, if you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase a copy for that person. If you did not purchase this book, or it was not purchased for your use, then you have an unauthorized copy. Please go to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting my hard work and copyright.

  Table of Contents

  Copyright Page

  Sweet Tea & Sass

  Cruise Ship Caper

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Witching for a Miracle

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  EPILOGUE

  Bubble, Bubble, Here Comes Trouble

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  Moonshine Valentine

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Stealing Christmas

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  The Purloined Pelt

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  The Christmas Crisis

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Wickedly Ever After

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Candy Apples and Curses

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  About Tegan

  Sweet Tea & Sass

  Hi, and thank you for picking up this book! The following novellas and short stories are a compilation of tales that have been included in several anthologies, and most of them have some sort of holiday theme: Christmas, Halloween, and Valentine’s Day. All of them are standalone, though one of them, Witching for a Miracle, needs to be read at any point before Murder and Mayhem, which is the fourth book in the Keyhole Lake series.

  You’ll find stories from each of my worlds: Witches of Keyhole Lake, Haunted Lodge Mysteries, Enchanted Coast Magical Mysteries, and Cori Sloane, Witchy Werewolf Mysteries. I’ll include links to the first book in each series at the end of this book.

  I hope you enjoy reading these as much as I enjoyed writing them!

  Cruise Ship Caper

  A Keyhole Lake Novella

  This novella has no significant effect on the series arc and may be read at any point. Chronologically, it takes place after book 1, Sweet Murder.

  CHAPTER ONE

  "HURRY UP, LADIES," Anna Mae said, shooing us toward the door of our stateroom. "The all-you-can-eat seafood buffet is open in the main dining room, and then there's a Dolly Parton look-alike contest with singin' and everything." She paused and grabbed an extra room keycard off the entry table and tucked it into her bra.

  "You know," Coralee said, raising a brow into her floofy, bleach-blonde bangs, "we all have keycards. You now officially have three—one in your bra, one in your purse, and one in your shoe. Are you that worried about getting locked out?"

  A scowl crossed Anna Mae's pixie face. "You can never be too careful. What if y'all lose yours? And my purse gets stolen? I'll still have two. One to give you, and one for me."

  I wasn't about to argue with that logic. If it made her feel better to have a hard piece of plastic glued to her boob all night, who was I tell her she was being a worrywart? She'd just gone through an experience that had up-dumped her life, and if carrying extra keycards gave her some security, then she could plaster them to her butt cheeks and forehead for all I cared.

  Hank, her husband of seventeen years, had just died, but if that's all that had happened, she'd have been fine. Better than when he was living, even. No, the death hadn't traumatized her. Finding out the disgusting pig had been ruining the lives of good people by ferreting out weaknesses and blackmailing them into poverty and nervous breakdowns had been what did it.

  Of course, he'd been blackmailing some pretty powerful bad guys, too, so even after Anna Mae'd made restitution to all the good folks, she was still a wealthy woman. Between the leftover blackmail cash and the half-mil life insurance policy she'd been smart enough to take out on him, she wouldn't have to work another day in her life, though that wasn't her plan.

  As a final middle finger to the man who’d tortured her and so many others for nearly two decades, she'd decided to use part of the money he'd hoarded so greedily to take all of us on a cruise. It would have killed him all over again had he been alive to see it, and that made all of us smile a little wider.

  In addition to that, I'd witnessed him getting pulled to the inky blackness of his scarily-ever-after eternity, and that gave me even more reason to rejoice. I hadn't shared that with anybody yet, though. Well, except my Aunt Addy, and I'd only told her because she'd been nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs every time a cross wind blew, afraid he was gonna pop back up as a ghost. That would have been awful, so I ended up confessing that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt he was gone for good just to put her at ease.

  I realize you may need a little more information, especially if this is the first you've ever heard of us. To catch you up, my Aunt Addy is a ghost. She'd passed several months before, but had decided to stay behind rather than move on because she was worried about leaving me and my kid sister, Shelby, alone.

  Oh, and I'm a witch and so is my cousin Raeann, whom you'll meet in a minute. Coralee runs the lo
cal beauty parlor/information dissemination center, and Bobbie Sue’s my godmother, boss, and dear friend. Now you know the basics.

  I gave a little smile as the door to our suite clicked shut and Anna Mae patted her cleavage just to make sure the card hadn't mysteriously disappeared in the three seconds it had taken to step across the threshold and into the hallway. Or passageway, I suppose, since we were on a ship.

  Coralee sucked in a breath and tapped me on the shoulder when she turned around. The sun was setting over the ocean, and the brilliant pinks, purples, and oranges were breathtaking. We all stood grasping the railing, all-you-can-eat seafood forgotten, as we watched the sun sink below the horizon.

  "Wow," Anna Mae said, her voice reverent. "I don't think I've ever seen anything so beautiful."

  "Me either," I said, a trace of sadness washing over me when the top edge of the sun disappeared and the grey light of dusk settled over us.

  "Holy cow!" Rae exclaimed, pointing to the water as a gusty saltwater breeze blew the edge of her floppy hat up. "Look—dolphins!"

  Sure enough, three fins rolled out of the water, then one of them jumped. The ship had barely left port and I'd already witnessed two amazing sights. I glanced around at the awed faces of five of the people I loved most in this world and wouldn't have wished to be anywhere else in the universe right then.

  We looked out over the water for a few more minutes, then Coralee's stomach rumbled.

  "Sounds like that buffet is calling," she said, pushing away from the railing.

  "I'm with you," Bobbie Sue said, her hair wisping around her face. "Let's go find some grub. I ain't had a bite to eat since breakfast this mornin'. My belly thinks my throat's been cut."

  I grinned. She may have been wearing a cocktail dress, but she was still my Bobbie Sue.

  We chatted on the way to the dining room, watching for more dolphins as we strolled. Halfway there, though, it was too dark to see anything other than the whitecaps created by the ship, so we turned our attention to the decor. We passed shops and two different pools before we finally saw a sign pointing us in the right direction.

  Anna Mae pulled out a list of activities as we walked. "What do you ladies want to do most? We could have massages in the morning, or take a cooking class, or even hit the rock-climbing wall." She pointed to the map. "See? Right here, it has a whole list of things to do. We're on the ship all day tomorrow, so we have plenty of time to try a few different things."

  I wasn't about to burst her bubble by telling her I was more interested in laying by the pool and doing nothing than I was in trying to squeeze in ten activities. She was, after all, the one who'd paid for it, not to mention the one who needed our support. Besides, I'd never had a massage and wanted to give that a shot. I hadn't had the smoothest sailing lately, either, pardon the pun, and could probably stand to have some knots worked out.

  After all, in the course of a week, I'd had a man drop dead in front of me, then been accused of his murder only a few hours afterward. I'd found out how awful some of humanity actually was, and I'd met a great guy I could actually imagine caring about. I'd also had a life-altering windfall of cash that I needed to decide what to do with.

  We'd all been through the wringer, and I figured if there was somebody who could rub all that away for a few hours, then I was in.

  CHAPTER TWO

  A COUPLE HOURS LATER, we were sipping fruity cocktails and watching a movie poolside. We'd stopped briefly into the Dolly Parton gig, but were unimpressed and decided to skip out in favor of sitting under the stars to watch the latest action movie. Watching stuff blow up in IMAX against a starry backdrop was just about as good as it got, as far as I was concerned.

  Cheri Lynn, the second ghost in our party and a girl I hadn't gotten to know until she'd recently died, sighed. "I've never seen a movie that looks that good."

  "You've never been to an IMAX theater?" Raeann asked.

  Our gypsy friend shook her head, her raven's-wing hair shimmering around her shoulders. "Nope. I barely had enough money to pay the bills, let alone drive to Eagle Gap to pay twenty bucks to watch a movie."

  She'd had a hard row to hoe her entire life, and it was just settling in for me just how tough she'd had it. She'd been another of Hank's victims, but her cost had been much higher than any of ours; she'd lost her life.

  "Well all that's changing now," Raeann said, tossing a handful of popcorn into her mouth.

  The people behind us shushed us, and considering we were trapped on a boat in the middle of the ocean with them, I figured it was a good idea to play nice. After all, you never knew about people.

  A woman in a red sarong strolled over. "Is this seat taken?" she whispered, and I could barely keep from gawking at the bling she was wearing. Diamonds dripped from her ears and adorned her fingers, and a triple strand of pearls with a huge teardrop pearl pendant glistened around her neck. If that ensemble was real, she was wearing more in jewelry than I made in ten years.

  "Nope," Anna Mae said, barely taking her eyes off the screen, "Have a seat."

  She did, then proceeded to do the one thing that irritated me most—attempted to engage in idle chitchat while we were trying to watch the movie. I did my best to politely convey that I was interested in the flick by answering her in monotone single syllables without taking my eyes off the screen, and she took the hint after a few minutes.

  I was so engrossed in the movie that I didn't even notice she'd left until the closing credits rolled. I felt sorta guilty for blowing her off. She'd been by herself, so maybe she was alone with nobody to talk to. Still, a movie wasn't a meet-and-greet.

  We decided to check out the several bars the ship offered, and were amazed a couple of times. One of them had tequila poured through an ice sculpture and another had floor-to-ceiling fish tanks, giving the place a surreal feel.

  Anna Mae'd had the foresight to buy the drinks package for each of us, so I didn't even have to worry about how much anything cost. Of course, that also meant I was free to drink as much as I wanted, and those tropical drinks went down way smoother than was good for me. By the time we made it back to the room, it was a good thing Anna Mae'd slipped a card into her bra, because none of us were in any condition to dig for one in our bags.

  She'd just slipped the card into the slot when some dude rudely rushed past, nearly knocking me over. "Hey, watch it!" Cheri Lynn barked, even though the guy probably couldn't see her. Shoot, he wouldn't have even if she'd been living, because he didn't even pause to look back.

  "Jerk," Bobbie Sue muttered as we pushed into the suite and locked the door behind us.

  Some people.

  CHAPTER THREE

  MY HEAD FELT LIKE A yarn ball some cat had ripped apart and yakked on the night before. Thankfully, we'd come prepared with Raeann's hangover cure. She was an amazing earth witch and was a whiz at mixing just the right blends to cure what ailed you. That's one of the reasons her coffee shop, Brew4U did so well.

  I squinted against the glare of sunshine streaming through the balcony doors, and my stomach rolled when the horizon dipped a little.

  Rae was still asleep, so I pilfered through her bag until I found the tin that held the cure. By the time I had the water boiling, Anna Mae, Coralee, and Rae were all sitting around the kitchen bar looking as rough as I felt. Bobbie Sue didn't look quite so bad as she made the coffee, but she wasn't far ahead of us.

  "Good morning, everybody!" Cheri Lynn chirped as she popped into sight. "Are y'all ready for a day of sun and fun?" She was wearing a bright yellow bikini underneath a wispy white wrap, along with a floppy hat and huge sunglasses. Apparently the group growl clued her in because she zipped it. At least until she realized what was going on.

  "Oh, wow," she said. "Lightweights! Hungover, and it's only your first morning. I told you to pace yourselves!"

  Addy popped in and gave a hoot when she saw us. "You five look like somethin' the cat dragged in."

  Glancing at others, I couldn't even say anything, becau
se she was right.

  I poured us each a cup of the cure and handed them around. Even though Rae'd done her best to find a way to improve the flavor, it still tasted bitter and slightly fishy. I knew from experience to have something ready to chase it with, so I dropped an ice cube into my coffee so it wouldn't peel the skin off my tongue when I took a big swig.

  By the time we finished our coffees, we were back to almost normal and ready to discuss the day. We made a second pot of coffee and took the carafe to the balcony.

  "I say we start at the pool," I said, watching the water for more dolphins. "I'd love to just relax for a bit."

  "Food first," Raeann said. "I'm starving, and I bet they have all the good exotic fruits like kiwis and papayas and fresh pineapple. And there's probably bacon, too."

  Spoken like a true southern girl.

  Anna Mae had the schedule out, running down it with her peach-tipped nail. "We can do the buffet breakfast, or there are a couple restaurants that are open. Oh, and there's a coffee shop if anybody's interested in that."

  "Buffet," Bobbie Sue said. "That way we can try a little bit of everything. That spread last night was killer."

  I groaned just thinking of it. I'd pigged out on lobster tails and scallops, and finished up with the dreamiest crème brulee I'd ever eaten. I'd almost taken a fork to the back of the hand when I'd tried to dip into Raeann's once I'd finished mine because it was so good.

  "After that, what do y'all wanna do?" Anna Mae asked. "Pool or massage?"

  "I don't know how I feel about a stranger rubbin' all over me," Bobbie Sue said, a look of misgiving on her face.

  "I'm sorta with you on that one," I admitted, "but I say we try new things. After all, when are we gonna get the chance to do this again?"

  She grumbled a little, but agreed.

  "I get a massage every time I have to go to Atlanta to get supplies for the shop," Coralee said. "I was a little weirded out at first, too, but once you try it, you'll want one every week. Besides, Bobbie, you work hard. Now it's time to pamper yourself."

  That was one of her biggest issues. She owns and runs the best barbecue joint in Georgia with her husband, Earl, and she rarely takes any time for herself. I know, because I work there and see how rundown she gets. She closes one day a week just so they can have some time to breathe, but even then, it wasn't uncommon to find her there doing paperwork. I did what I could when I could to help her out with that, but she needed a real manager, someone who had the time and energy to invest in the place. Someone who wanted to be there for the long haul. That wasn't me, especially now that I had options. Sarah, the other girl who worked there, was raising two small kids and going to the community college, so she wasn't a prime candidate, either.